The Spiritual Quest




Our existence is not only profoundly mysterious but also incredibly deep and many faceted. It is true to say also that one facet of our being is simply the journey through life and mystery itself, and which involves direct experience of many things and our self observing them; the observer and the observed. We apparently start out in life as the unknown and unknowing observing the unknown; and we know not why or how. No better way to start a story I would have thought. “Once upon a time, there was a time... when there was no time.” And indeed that is experienced to be true in more ways than one. There must be many millions of people on earth who, although they have no experiential justification, accept that we are on a spiritual journey of some kind. Maybe they feel it intuitively. Maybe they simply accept things they have heard and or read. Or maybe they have had some synchronous event or experience in their lives that, unknowingly at least, has motivated them in this direction, the direction of consciously seeking this deeper reality or at least a meaning and purpose to their existence, hence a spiritual quest of some kind, and by some method.


We learn things as we go through life whilst at the same time learning, by virtue of it, that there exists much that we do not yet know. We are therefore aware of our own ignorance also, as mentioned earlier. I often wonder if any other life forms on earth are actually aware of their ignorance. Yet I doubt that we can ever know the answer to that one. Maybe mankind is the only life on earth that is aware that there exists things of which it is not aware. Kind of magic is that—and maybe a privileged position!


An irony being therein is that the less ignorant we become then the more we become confronted with the certitude of our still existing ignorance also: those who know so little often seem to assume that there is little more to know anyway, to say nothing of there being more to experience in life. Or they often give the impression of so assuming: and in which case ignorance is a kind of bliss... but short lived. It is fun and rewarding watching kids grow up—irrespective of how old they may be. The more we learn about the nature of reality and all things which exist then the more the mind becomes engrossed in the less material aspect of existence itself, by dwelling more in thought of the ‘Essential Qualities’ of being. They presumably (and rightly) see this as the spiritual side of our being. It is judged to be good for it is better to be with than without, and it is also judged to be good simply because we feel a depth inner harmony, empathy, and we are in one accord with it—and we would for it is both our depth nature and what we are indeed made of. But we do not really know this when we are young, it is one of the things which we learn and feel by the very act of being here and observing... and a little learning and thinking.


This essential quality of being does not mean that one eventually comes to negate the physical aspect of life as some religious sects and hermits do; or in negating the physical world itself. I would not personally want a life without solid trees, rivers, skies, sunsets, skin to touch, and all the rest of it. Thus, the real spiritual side of our nature does not find a dichotomy between essence and form or spirit and substance as some seem to claim, (but more so in the past it seems). All it means is that the mind of the person is not constantly dwelling on the materialistic aspects of being and developing a grabbing philosophy. Their essential life style is on a higher plain of existential reality. One still has to eat, breathe, wash and do all the chores and use and enjoy material things. You will not find them in paradise so enjoy them while you can here.


The integration into this essential nature of being by way of deliberate seeking is referred to as the ‘spiritual quest’. We become aware also that there is more of this quality of being to be attained to, and because it is good then we strive to become more of that living reality, and more and more of it; and the whole thing kind of snowballs of its own accord. We are attracted toward it because it is judged and felt to be good; and far better than being without it; we are not silly after all are we; and what else is personal choice for anyway?


On occasions however, there seems to exist an overwhelming general social outflow of this need and affirmation within many people in a society all at the same moment in time; and hence a new ‘wave’ of spirituality washes over that society. It ebbs and flows, time and time again. It is as though the spiritual evolution on a planet takes four steps forward and then slowly ebbs back three steps. Nevertheless the movement is ever forward, a long slow becoming in the resolution of the harmony in the all. It is a somewhat faster occurrence in individuals however. Well, we need to for we are not here for a very long time: but society goes on for a long time. A typical recent social out-gushing of this spiritual quest and affirmation was that of what was called the ‘Hippie culture’. I was so busy working and bringing up a young family at that time that I hardly noticed its existence until it was all over... yet alone having taken any part in it; and neither would I have done given the time and choice. (Too long in the tooth by that time anyway.) Though it must have been an exciting new dawn for the youth in its beginning.


There was something very good and meaningful at the heart of it: a youthful revolution of common decency and general harmony of being with an ideal, a dream, an aspiration of the soul, and a wanting to be really alive and to be. But like so much else it had its debris in orbit of its true deeper reality and goal. In due course, and also as it is with so much else, (even the so called spiritual church) the movement or organisation was taken over by the orbital debris itself, and thence rightly fizzled itself out. It became a philosophy and alas practice of ‘Tune in, turn on, and drop out’: and the dropping out was effected by use of drugs. At its heart however, it was a love culture; but many of the young and innocent took that to mean a sex culture; for what do the young know about love anyway? They only think that they know; but thinking that you know ain’t knowing. Love and sex are very different things and very different realities. You sure cannot have sex in the transcendent realm—although it is much like the ultimate cosmic orgasm in a way, he says smiling.


One can have sex without love anywhere on the scene, and love does not need sex at all; they are two very different things. Nor is love restricted to human relationships. Love can be found relating to anything in existence. You can love a tree; a cat; a bottle of wine or your left foot. One of course can also have sex within a loving relationship and which becomes something a little more than mere sex when so done. The credo of the Hippie doctrine however, became ‘All you need is love’. But love is not all we need. We need somewhere to live; something in our guts: clothes to wear; a means of earning an honest living; the potential to move around and socialise, education, interaction, and a whole lot more besides.


The essential quality of life on earth cannot be enjoyed whilst one is starving, in the cold, with no prospects or hope for tomorrow. It is not mental or physical security which people need it is the lack of deprivation and mental turmoil. You cannot enjoy a book, music, the arts, the scenery, while the guts are demanding sustenance and the mind is demanding peace and quiet from the physical struggle itself. In paradise you need nothing of these things, so there is nothing to get in the way of love, beauty, the essences, anyway. However, out here we are not in paradise and we need more mundane things than love and beauty before love and beauty can even come on the scene at all. You cannot have a divine essential life-style on earth whilst starving, cold and fed up.


It is all very well for few way-out hippies (living off the state to boot in many cases when they need not be) to disseminate a half-baked philosophy of so called wisdom while the rest of us have to get on with living and making this world work. My message to those people would be a simple one... A little learning is a dangerous thing; drink deep or taste not the divine eternal spring; and know what you are talking about before making such assertions! Such cults will come and go like leaves on the wind; in the meantime the world goes on going on in its own sweet time and order of unfolding. When next you see a real beggar on the streets then ask him or her if they want a kiss or a good dinner first.


However, this uprising or new wave was nothing new in human existence; it is all as old as human existence on earth itself, it comes and goes in waves or cycles. But each time it seems to leave just a little of something more permanent and enduring within societal awareness that was perhaps not there or manifest previously. Perhaps, in hindsight, all that is left of that particular uprising of the youth which is of any worth is that of its music, a popular music: and some of which is most beautiful and meaningful.


Unfortunately in its wake however it has still to this day left the debris of the drug scene and the opting out of existing society as it is; and which is even more prevalent now than it was then. To opt out however, is not to change anything but simply to run away from that which is so. Opting out of extant reality is the cowards and defeatists way; it is also dangerous personally and sociologically. They should stay and fight their corner and ideals. There is a time for throwing the towel in—when there is no breath left in the body and the blood stops pumping. However, the point I make here is simply this. Every uprising of a new idea, a new wave of thought or understanding, contains an inner core of people: and this applies regardless of the type of new thinking which is involved. It happens in physics, astronomy, literature, art, politics, religions, philosophy, technology, education, music, medicine: anything and everything. Moreover, there is usually something which remains of that new wave of thinking which did not exist within consensus society awareness prior to it. This is manifest in all aspects of human activity and evolution on earth itself; and it will continue to be so as long as mankind exists on earth. With regard to the spiritual nature of human beings this evergreen but ‘ever new finding’ has been known as the ‘Spiritual Quest for the Sacred Grail’. It has been talked about, written about, myths have been made of it throughout millennia and all cultures and nations on earth more than any other topic: and before the dawn of civilisation it was the same unto each tribe of wandering nomads. And is this not why state religions dwell on the past so much?


How then would they ever come to know that there existed a chalice to be found and a quest to be undergone if those who had not stumbled upon this reality themselves had not known it directly and made mention of it? For even ancient men and women on earth were not asinine enough to go looking for something which ain’t there. Two very well known myths to the Western mind are those of the Argonauts (sailors of the mystic sea); and that of the Arthurian Legend. These of course are just symbolic stories, they are not real events; but they are stories which have a deeper meaning and truth within them, and the very reason why they ever came to be written in the first place. So too with such things as ‘Lord of the Rings’ and many other of such fiction; it is a modern day myth. Yet that to which it points is the ‘central core’ of that myth. And those who realise that there is a deep hidden meaning are the central core or esoteric nucleus of that religion, philosophy, or whatever else it involves.


Those however, who simply take on the symbolic myth itself as the truth, or indeed miss the point entirely, are the debris or orbital periphery of that movement, religion, philosophy, myth, or whatever if they jump on the band wagon and become an active part of it. This is not meant to be a derogatory statement; it is a simple and self-evident truth of human reality as it is. But just like happened in the hippie movement itself it is the periphery mob which eventually (by sheer numbers and common belief) take control of the movement, religion, philosophy, or whatever movement it is. Even in politics it is the same, for Marx did not invent Soviet Communism as it came to be. The masses become the ‘truth’, the orthodox: or the common understanding; whilst its founders and esoteric central core or group become the heretics of that which they themselves have affirmed and put forth for the contemplation of others in the first place. There is nothing new in this at all. Look as to what is happening with quantum physics today: is it not a new band-wagon for many cults and new age beliefs to jump on to and make use of? It is pathetic.


When it comes to the grail of the spiritual quest itself however, then most religions contained an inner esoteric mystic core of individuals originally. Naturally they are an anathema to the later structured organised state owned religion itself. Yet on the other hand such religions, even as they have become today, would never have existed if it were not for these inner core of esoteric mystics within this or that movement. State religions and their priestcraft however, talk about what they do not know: whereas the founders (unwitting founders at that) talked of that which they did know and had known for a long time. Moreover, and as I said elsewhere, there are many today through which this spiritual reality is known and affirmed which is outside of any doctrinal state religion at all: and it could be no other way. It is perhaps seen as pure hypothetical philosophy by many perhaps. But it is also the case that consensus familiarity in anything eventually becomes a kind of religion when accepted in large numbers. Look at football over the last hundred years for example. Football is a religion and a way of life for so many. Do they not even have their idols and saints? Moreover, and what is even more strange and dangerous, is that religion itself can become a drug for some: a crutch for many in fact. And this is but a part of the problem. What they cannot seem to see and understand is that they will never find the truth of any religion if they cling to the symbolic structure and myth of that religion; or even stay within that religion for that matter. It is like looking for sunlight with your eyes shut. It is somewhat like staring at words on a written page and then making the words or the page itself ‘the’ religion itself instead of reading them and arriving at the meaning of what the words and symbols are pointing to beyond themselves. It is like trying to catch a flowing river in a bucket or wind in a paper bag.


Originally such spiritual conversation was intended to encourage and inspire the seeker to find the reality which was being spoken about. Today however, they simply believe or have faith: but they do nothing. They will never find it that way. Also, if you ‘have’ something then you are not it. The sea contains no water, for the water is the sea; and without the water there would be no sea. The River contains no flow; for without the flow it would be a pond not a river. The wind does not blow for the blowing is the wind. And paradise would not be paradise without us being in it. Then again if one assumes that you have the truth then you do not go looking for it anyway, for only an idiot goes looking for something which is not lost. Religions are more dangerous than they are worth—even in that sense; to say nothing of fighting and killing over. Neither is love and the spiritual reality something which is thought about and then becomes true by virtue of thinking about it. It is something which you do before even knowing what it does; it is its own manifest thing, truth, and movement. That which motivates human religions existed long before the incarnate mind on earth could even think in rational terms. It is both within and beyond thinking.


A modern religion is what it is however: but I have also pointed out somewhere that the original meaning (Re-Legio) meant the mystical Re-Union, a return to that sacred realm, not a belief system of doctrinal assertions. It meant a direct gnosis, knowledge of experience, the spiritual realm itself; and a known mysterious fact of life and reality itself. One does not want or need to have ‘a religion’ one should want to be the thing itself—that which religion points to and which Re-Legio is in fact. To be in that reality, that event itself; to know it and live its effects of knowing it whilst on earth... here and now, not believing; not thinking about it, but doing it. It is this affirmation of its reality by anyone who knows it which has sent others on the personal quest of trying to seek it out; and by one method or another throughout all human history. There is however no known absolute perfect formula, or secret method with which to attain this goal or event. And moreover it happens on its own anyway does it not? Nevertheless, this does not mean that one should not try to find ways to put oneself in the way of it happening—and to whatever degree which that may help or be done. It is not wrong, silly or foolish, to desire such thing: indeed it is the opposite which is foolish and ignorant.


There were those within the core of the origin of the hippie culture who were genuinely looking for that enlightenment, that gnosis, that revelation. (And not for mere kicks or way out trips.) The dilemma being that they were doing so by way of using drugs in this instant. That is the big tragedy of that movement. They obviously did not personally know it, for they would not have been using drugs if they had. And if they did already know it then they would not have been looking for it anyway.


The psyche is not designed to be constantly bombarded with extraneous drugs, especially that kind; it can produce its own well enough when needed. However, the debris of course did not know that there was anything to look for except the kicks and trips of the distortions of the human mind itself by way of those drugs. They were missing the whole point. Even two hundred years ago there existed well documented accounts which warned of the dangers of drugs by those who sought paradise and sensory enhancement by that method. (Such as the opium eaters.) Were not the central core of the Lake District Poets well familiar with the long term effects?


Most of that inner core of the hippie movement died in the process of seeking it that way; they did not find what they were looking for; nor will they: and that is also a fact (not whilst alive that is). And little do most people know that the writing and literature which so many of them admired so much from these people was a sham, a hoax, a fraud (and mere hearsay as far as they were concerned anyway). And little do most know that these people did die of drugs in the quest of this spiritual grail. Indeed the real esoteric core of the hippie movement are little known even by the hippie movement. We are not here to name names and dates. However, spiritual experience, especially transcendent experience, is not for the invading or the stealing of; it is for the being given and the receiving of. And that in itself creates enough problems for the new finder when it does come. For everything they have hitherto heard about it has either been distorted out of all recognition or made into pure mythology and symbolic likeness by the past and existing periphery mob itself; the orbital debris; and the Preistcrafty of medieval religions in this particular case.


Stealing it however does not equate with trying to put oneself in the path of it, for that is something else. It is a fact that throughout all human history people have gone in search of this holy grail of the transcendent spiritual realm. There are those, like myself, however, who just stumbled across it—by accident so to speak—for they were not only not looking for anything but they had never even heard of it anyway. You cannot go looking for something which you do not even know exists. Who is to say that one’s inner depths (the soul itself—or sub-conscious if you prefer) is not on this quest sub-consciously all the time anyway; and far below the level of topside awareness? It seems obvious to me from hindsight that this is indeed the way it really is. Further, it does not have to remain purely sub-conscious; for the topside mind can join in the quest also. The big problem of course is how.


In my own particular case, and in all those I have been in communication with, then this finding, this revelation, did not come due to conscious efforts; and certainly not by way of drugs or any kind of mysterious practices or rituals. It just happened, right out of the proverbial blue: and as it has done with so many in the past; if not all those who have integrated into such depth of being. But does this ‘being given’ preclude the usefulness of a deliberate and self-chosen quest for the searching of it? Certainly and absolutely not! Indeed, why not give it a hand by our own volition. What is freedom of choice if not for the using of? I am not saying that one can steal this truth by any practices or rituals whatsoever. What I am saying is that one can put oneself in the ready and waiting made for it to be received during a lifetime; and it can of course also be desired. Not to desire a better world and life for your self and others would be foolish anyway.


One key to this quest is seen to be in using up all the love that already exists within oneself... getting it out of your system into the world... giving it away. And that IS what it is for. And which is very strange is it not!? When you get rid of it then it not only works out there in the world but more and more of it comes into you; both from the outside world itself (local effects) and from deep down inside your own system (spiritual and Transcendent effects). The using of it and giving it away opens, the very channel from whence it comes from in the first place; like turning a tap on and letting the water of life flow through you—up the well. If you shut the tap off then there is no more movement of the stuff. One way to stop your pipes from freezing up is to let the tap run. This is miraculous in that it is a fact of life and reality. If you want more of the same then use it (let it run out of you) and get rid of it. When (and if) this ‘refill’ of love and passion comes in a large enough dose... then zap... the passion can and does carry you home to your root and ground of being... to the reservoir itself. (as in the well analogy). I know for a personal fact that this is true.


That then is how it seems to work in many, but not all cases. It is not a intervention of an objective force, it is the system of the inner structure working as its dynamics determine. We only have to use the stuff that is already there. It is all already done and there now: use it and live; eat that which is here now, and digest. We do not have to go in search of the substance for it is not only already within us, but we are made of the stuff itself. Have you ever turned on a water tap when the pressure had built up for some reason? The stuff gushes out like crazy and goes all over the shop. It is much like that when the big one comes—blasted into another reality by love and passion, or so it is experienced to be anyway. Where, when and how, did that pressure build up then?


Inspiration is another key to this tap or trigger it seems. So too is beauty. As for myself, I knew none of this. It was all instinctive inner reaction as far as I was concerned at that age; not a conscious decision as such. Yet if one comes to hear that there exists a hidden treasure (of this nature) then one would be a fool not to search within themselves for it to whatever degree that it can be a conscious choice whilst on earth—and whilst keeping ones feet on the ground, not becoming a hermit, and not injecting chemicals to assist it. But for heaven sake look in the right place—within you. Not in books, not in religions, not in mystical circles; look within your heart, your soul and your mind; for they are made of it.


It is certainly not compulsory to seek it however; our freedom is… let us just say very profound and important for now. We do not need rituals for this quest; just a deep inner feeling and desire for touching the sacred, the essence itself; and above all feeling the passions and essences of life flowing through you to whatever degree they are already operative in you now. Forget knowledge for some of the time and concentrate on feeling life to the full, the good and the bad. Those who already have this, and use it, will receive more of it: those who do not use what they have will have even that which they have taken from them... for the pipe will clog up and the tap will run dry. It works just like a muscle in the body—or your brain for that matter; if you do not use it you lose it; exercise it and it grows.


Love on the outside (being used) attracts love (from the inside) just as hate attracts hate; and love is effective in starting and inspiring that inner journey itself; the journey to its ultimate essence and transcendent mystic root, the so-called peak experience. The last signs on that journey, and whilst still being able to remember what you have been told about it, will be in a trinity itself... the Gold in the White. Look out for it, for paradise is the next stop. And when the Gold becomes as the White... Then you will know annihilation and resurrection—in paradise. Tell a fundamentalist that judgement (discrimination of the parts) is achieved by colour subtraction and comparison (from our point of view) and they will flip their lid. What is the colour of your own soul at this point in your time then? Does it glow or is it a bucket of ice?


Colour of course is simply a matter of frequency vibrations as seen; but those vibrations can even be seen as colour by the spirit and soul itself. And only in the dimension of the trinity (the three in one place) will you see it, know it, and understand this truth. And one will be taken (the soul) and one will remain (the spirit).


One can certainly mystify if one wants to, and whilst still talking the absolute truth as is known. But human type mystification does not enlighten. Tis the real thing that enlightens. Moreover, if we all spent the rest of our lives saying only the word ‘tree,’ then those words would never ever turn into a tree. Nor would they reveal its truth. Saying the word love, is not love. And love is not a word. Some say that in the beginning there was the word. Little do they know. In the beginning there was the reality itself. But there never was a beginning, for it is beyond time and thought, to say nothing of human words.


Transcendent integration should happen to every being whilst they live an incarnate lifetime on earth as far as I am concerned; and no doubt that one day, somewhere, sometime, it will do. (Not all on the same night or year however for no work would get done). It is what it is for after all; to know it and live the effects of it on earth. To use it, eat of it, and then get rid of it to the world; the singer and the song in union incarnate; and even whilst young in fact. What a way to die! What a way to live! When people know their self then they will not need religions, beliefs, doctrinal philosophies, gurus, or state indoctrinated morals from people who do not know what they are talking about. However, creation does not work and unfold according to my own preferences. It does what it does what it does.


This event during a lifetime is not a reward for being good or doing all the things we have to do right; it is a case of having eaten and digested of what exists to be eaten and digested of the essences and spirit of being. Neither is it a case of being ‘chosen’ as some would have you believe; that is dangerous lies and a prostitution of truth. It is a case of being there and going along with it when the spirit moves within you. And it will then reveal to you whatever it does reveal to you; albeit a little or much: albeit shallow or deep; albeit spiritual or psychic fields. It seems to me that the mere contemplation and feeling for these essences of life are the most active methods of putting oneself in the ready and waiting mode; that is to say using ones sensitivities to their full extent. Contemplate occasionally for an hour or so also. Contemplate the nature of beauty, ask yourself what it really is. Contemplate upon truth, love, wisdom, unity. Do you value them? If so why; if not why not. And feel these things to the utmost inner depths that one can attain to.


Hiding from life’s passions will most certainly not activate them—simple cause and effect you see; or the lack of it in that case. At very best even the genuine affirmations of these events from people who have undergone such things can but hopefully help to inspire a reader or hearer of them just a bit. People who have known it have no vested motives, no reason other than that of them wanting all others to know and share this reality whilst alive on earth themselves... here is a fruit my friend, eat it for your self and live a different life. Ask yourself this, do doctrinal state religions and their priestcraft inspire young minds; yet alone inspire them to go in search of this divine truth within themselves? Maybe one day they will sing the song a little nearer to the truth. Maybe. Maybe not. But if they do not then they will no longer exist. And what a waste of lovely buildings that would be. Right now they could better be used for housing the homeless.


So, it is somewhat ironic that early Western religion (a mystical heresy of Judaism by small esoteric sects in that particular area) was probably the most advanced understanding of transcendence and spirituality up to that time in human history in those parts; far more so than Buddhism in fact. Western mystic spirituality took two major steps forward. One: it went deeper than mere annihilation and talked of the resurrection beyond annihilation itself (the real one that is, not a mythical bodily resurrection). Secondly it strove, for the first time, to bring all this transcendent spirituality back to earth again... the round trip so to speak; to make it whole: to unite the world and paradise itself in one comprehension and accord. What does common Buddhism care about the world and the human action within it... they want off it as did ancient Gnosticism. Only the greedy want to keep the sacred: but the wise and true lovers want it to live out here in the world itself; and it cannot if we are not here, for we are the channels of it. We are the instrument upon which the music of life is played. So let us not block our pipes.


The distortions of the truth of transcendence then is the most dangerous and destructive force of religions, simply because there is a very deep and real truth within them; if there were not then it would not matter, except for being untrue. And yet that truth has been so distorted by symbolism, so adapted and corrupted by political priestcraft, so much put in and so much left out, that it makes the whole edifice more dangerous to the human mind than any worth it may contain. It is because of this; and because it has been known and realised by so many throughout the last fifteen hundred years, that so many other types of affirmation and groups have sprung up and existed; and some not even claiming to be connected with a religion at all... and no wonder at it obviously. The renaissance itself was a spiritual movement; such things as the Knights Templars; the Order of the Rosicrucians, and so many others, even unto the real central core of the Hippie movement itself. And what do we have now in the West? New age thinking: the Quantum brigade; the UFO brigade; and so on. They dare not even mention the spirit and the soul, paradise and transcendence, for fear of being thought mad. That, however, is not the way to go; for you cannot hide truth and truth will not be hidden: it reveals itself directly and demonstrably... and how! When a spiritual doctrine is past its sell by date (even if it were ever useful in the first place that is), then some of its adherents often fall back into their vacuum and re-adopt even older myths, old superstitions, anything and anywhere; for their quest is simply to fill the gap, the vacuum of their unknown and the fear of it.


Some invent new cults; they are ten a penny in some parts of the world. If we are not in that condition in the West right now then I do not know what is. Just look for example at all the so-called ‘mystic’ and esoteric books that have come into print over the last fifty years: all the clubs, all the cults; all the old superstitions; all the new ‘how to live’ books. It is self-evident that the state religion has let them all down with a big bang. People innately feel that something is missing in their lives. Psychoanalysts have never had it so good. It is inevitable however, because their story is not true; and people intuitively feel lost and isolated from their root of being by virtue of it. A genuine religion administered by those knowing what they are talking about however would work—to the degree that it knew and understood it; but it would still work for those who needed that kind of thing.


Others however, and even those with no vested interest, argue that to let go of a structured religion does away with spirituality. That is not only wrong but proved to be wrong by the collapse of the Soviet dictatorship, and which even they should be aware of. That was also the major Achilles heal in so called Communism—getting rid of spirituality and mystery. Also the collapse of state doctrinal religion will bring spirituality even more to the forefront. They should demand not a religion but rather to know where they came from and why.... and when they know that then they will not need a religion or indoctrinated philosophy; and to say nothing of priestcraft and idiot fortune tellers or the band wagon of so called gurus. I feel that scientific knowledge alone today is making some people feel that deep mystery within themselves, and making them ask their own inner questions. Unlike priestcraft however, the goal of a genuine spiritual teacher is put him or her self out of a job. And they seek no payment or reward for what they may do.


We have so much potential, both within ourselves and the physical world, for an incarnate world unimaginable to us at this moment—yet what do we do? We sleep walk through life in the grip of Somnus and entropy. The mind dwells on more and more of the same trivia. It tires of that trivia eventually, and then becomes unmotivated and unseeing: kind of a living death at worst or psychological and social problems at best. The spiritual quest, and just as it has been sought from time out of mind in all cultures, is just as active today as in any other time—if not more so amid what is perhaps the darkest century in human history. It will be a good day for mankind when books on spirituality and mysticism are not needed, and books on state religions and comparative religions are seen for what they are; all talk and no genuine substance, no knowledge—other than academic of course.


Whether one goes in search for this sacred encounter or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is that it does exist to be known, and in the final analysis we will know of it when other forces deem that we will know of it. That which is true does not go away; and neither does it stop working the way it works. And it is quite possible that in attempting to invoke such things that one may indeed invoke something from within—a negative reaction; for there is much within the psyche that should remain there; and remain very subconscious. Whereas some have a psychic gift or potential which is useful, then that is something very different; and such people whom I have personally encountered with such abilities treat it with much respect. This however is something a little different from the occasional psychic experience which we all encounter at times, and events which are very common, the most common form of exceptional human experience. But it is also wise to put those into perspective of what most of them are, for psychic events are not always what they seem to be on face value. And once again the model comes in useful regarding categorising them and understanding them just a little better.


However, and all these things being as they are, ultimately you and I are a part of the all. Our own inner self is seeking us infinitely more than we are seeking it. It knows of our existence, yet for a while we know not if its existence. The onus is on IT to find us. We did not ask to be born, we are not knowingly on a quest when we are young and oh so innocent of such things. Hence, and in all truth, the best way of all to go about finding it—is to forget it. Live your life to the full. Enjoy it where you can and share that enjoyment with others. Make the most of your potentials, and use them wisely. Create more laughter than tears. Look for the good in all things whilst not closing your eyes to anything. Do your own looking in sincerity; live your life as you are and without false pretences, be yourself. You may fool others but you cannot fool your self. These are the real things that put you in the path of attaining more of what exists to be known and lived. There is indeed something sacred to be found. But if you do not find it today, or next year, or until the day you leave here, then do not worry, for it is still there, always. And it will sure find you when the time and need is right. Of that I can guarantee. Moreover, ignorance of these things has its perks for whilst that time lasts. And I often wonder as to what could happen if a person really was not ready to deal with these things and they came prematurely. But I cannot envisage that happening; for the system works well. It has been around for a while.


With objectivity as we know it in this world by way of the senses, it is plain enough that we are never the thing which we are observing, and naturally we do not observe our self in quite the same way as we would a tree, a river or a mountain; for self observation is introspective. Thus, the world, the universe, or anything within it is seen as something other than self. In some respects the environment of our transcendent consciousness (in paradise) is a little like that also insofar as the vision is concerned, for we are not that which we can see—the realm itself. But that aside, it is the nearest one can say, and by virtue of other things such as the feeling and the understanding that “I am THAT”, if you follow me. And we certainly are the thing that is doing this knowing, feeling and observing.


The mysterious thing I suppose is that life on earth itself becomes that kind of reality after the event also—and after one is over the initial shock of course. The Consummatum Incarnate event of which I speak is this same thing, the same feeling, the same knowing and understanding, but taken to its ultimate limit... as it was in paradise itself. At least I presume it is the ultimate limit, for I cannot imagine it to be more so other than for it being a more regular and consistent experience; (I have only known it once at that level or degree of being). That is perhaps the best way to describe it then. It is not a thing, or condition, that one could live in the whole time whilst on earth as it is at this point in time—for you would never get anything done at all in that perpetual condition. But in time to come—who knows? Once a week would be nice. However, that feeling remains, in a diluted form of course, for the rest of one’s life on earth, and whilst doing anything of the normal tasks and chores of daily life.


It is this passion and knowing which is the food of which the ancient mystics also talked when saying that man needs more than bread in the stomach in order to live: really live that is. Its strongest feeling however, is when you are alone with natural things of the world for a while; or perhaps simply sitting alone around the fire in peace and quiet without the bombardment of trivial stimulus like the radio or television distorting the inner waves of resonance with the incarnate divine order. It is predominantly at such times when the full essence of things permeate up into the temporal conscious mind, and reach the other parts of the system that need them also. One can see and feel this ‘eternity’ in a candle flame; in the flicker of the firelight glow; in the cobweb in the corner of the room; in the hole in your slipper; the smell of the burning wood. It all fits together; everything is in place and all in one resonance, one harmony and accord—the soul, the spirit, the world, the universe and paradise itself. These things somehow seem to shout back at you also. They shout that ‘They also know’.


How strange and mysterious it is! And what human being could ever want more than this whilst alive on earth (along with the food we need to eat of course)? What else is there to compare with it? It is in that sense then, that although these things are still objective they are somehow ‘known’, and they are a mysterious part of you, and you are a part of them. It is at such times when on occasions the inner depths of the soul sends up a song or a poem into the conscious mind itself, without thought or effort; flowing soft and at ease, naturally like a river through its course, or snow falling upon snow. It is the time when the conscious mind goes the way of the heart and all the food and energy for the next day is given in advance.


But extraordinarily it is also the time when objectivity is at its ultimate height and potential as well. Sometimes it is like one is never really out of paradise at all in some peculiar way but simply that the vision of paradise has been switched off in order to allow us to see other things also; other wonders, other sensations. Alas, words will never touch these depth mystic truths, these realities, and this feeling and knowing the deepest depths of all things. At such times one does not laugh, for in truth it is more conducive to weeping, or the soul at least, not the temporal mind as such, for its beauty is beyond that which can really be affirmed and stated by the observing incarnate mind and our words... and there is nothing that one can give back in return—perhaps other than a tear from the soul, for I guess that says it all; and gives it all back again to from whence it came. Oh yes, there are times when a tear can say everything there is to be said. And which, in the writing of that last sentence, reminds me of a tear I once saw; and one which I did not shed. For near on forty years I wondered about that tear. Yet whilst writing that last sentence… I now know why.


But in that super active stillness of the mind and soul, and which is so easy to induce oneself, then one knows yet again that Love is resonance within a system which is devoid of harmonics, in which all movement and understanding is of one frequency and accord with the fundamental foundation of all movement and being; and that Wisdom, is knowing it. But these things can only be known, felt, and remembered; they cannot be said, or taught, or alas given away to another. It is a one to one relationship with the all.


So when they say to you that there is no such thing as paradise, transcendence, a divine order; then simply smile, and say nothing; for you cannot give it to them to prove it. If one were to drop dead at any moment, then what does it matter? It is of no account. And if one does not then the objective magic goes on from one day to another; and it is always there; in sunshine and in rain, in health and when the body is unwell, in darkness and in light; it is always there. And if one were to drop dead that minute then so what, for we have seen and known life incarnate, and life at its root; life at its highest and life at its saddest, and the passions all become as one song. And when they ask me as to what I fear, then I have to ask them as to what fear is, for I do not know; how can one fear life? It is not for the fearing of, it is for the knowing, the loving, the living, and the song; and to be the singer of that song yourself. It is to be the observer of all that there is to be observed and the knower of the known. How divine then is objectivity indeed: and how eternally mysterious. Has creation got it right... or has creation got it right? But then of course one observes it being wasted: and ones passions are aroused in a different way, a very different way indeed, and even though the passion is as great.


But alas anger also walks in the heart, soul and mind, the anger of waste and entropy. It is like seeing people weeping because they are hungry when they refuse to open their eyes and see the meal which is set there on the table before them. And one is angry because they are starving of their own accord by refusing to eat. I cannot really understand this anger, but it is there nonetheless, and not nice. But you cannot deny that something exists simply because it is not a nice experience. Thus it is also that when one is alone (far from the maddening crowd) that the anger also dissolves and allows the soul to be at ease within its self, back in the resonance of the centre of its own stillness and unity for a while... for in a while the world will rumble on again, and the work is never completed on earth. And does not such time also give back that energy that one requires for the next days work... the spiritual impetus to go on despite all set-backs or annoyances? So give us this day the bread of the spirit for the soul to draw on for its need and nourishment for the task ahead of it! And so it goes. Man cannot live by bread alone. And they do not sell this kind of food in the supermarket my friend... and what price paradise then? It is free. If we could but package this food in a pill or in a magic wand then I would have gone into production years ago, and would give it all away freely. But in the knowing that we cannot do such a thing then we meet our limitations face on, for that is not our power; and it is not ours to give; but only to receive.


When they say that there is no paradise, no transcendence and divine order, then one could ask them as to what then turns the water of life into wine and the lead of life into gold, the mundane into the profound. How can one be affected by something that does not exist: how can one exist in a realm that does not exist; and how does the world itself come to glow from the inside by a light that does not exist there: and how can we love something that does not exist; and how could one talk for ever about something that does not exist? I envy their future surprise and joy; for I will never know that surprise again in this lifetime. What is more is that nobody can take that love from you, nor knowledge, nor inner understanding, for they are untouchable by man. But what is yours is also theirs. One is perhaps more angry that they do not see it for themselves than they are... for how can they miss that which they do not know? But their spirit and soul knows well enough. They must feel for that part; and liberate it.


It will not hide forever, for that which is within the implicate order of all things will out; and be it the hard way or the easy way. Be it with our will, or otherwise in due course. These things are for this world, this life. This life is not a trial run, it is the real thing (albeit a part of something wider—and as yet unknown by us). And what happens to he or she who is totally devoid of these essential things during this lifetime? Can their mind settle upon anything whatsoever? Is their life not all haste and turmoil in ever constant search for that which they know not what; where or why? They come into this world knowing not why. They live their lives knowing not how. They leave this world and go to they know not where. But the divine mystery being that all these things can only be learned by the sacrifice of a little time itself, to go beyond the event horizon of time itself. In order to know this world they must first leave it behind for a while—a mystic assertion which in reality is but a simple affirmation of a known profound truth. And neither is it symbolic but literal. And neither does it mean anything other than what it says. In order to know themselves they must first lose their self for a while. And in losing ones self (annihilation) then one finds one self (in paradise), and far more besides.


But these things sound ‘mystical’ and far fetched. They are mysterious; but true nonetheless. It is seen then that the absolute attainment of joy whilst alive on this world is a reality which comes only by way of our own unconditional love for a ‘something’ which is not itself found in the physical universe that the senses encompass. This does not mean a negation of materiality or the world itself as so many seem to believe, but rather as a supplement to it. Not only that but when these forces are at a great flow within one then even the physical senses are enhanced to capture even more of the wonder of the physical reality itself. The only thing I shall be a little sad about when leaving here is the loss of this divine spectacle called the world: and the friends and lovers known thereupon; for you will NOT see them in paradise. Make the most of these things then whilst here now: not tomorrow but today. Tomorrow may not even come, so do not waste today.


As mentioned elsewhere however, neither can we live on earth by way of the essences or spiritual food alone. Neither can any man or woman walk through life on earth alone, for we are all dependent on each other and so much more besides. Science will bring forth virtual reality, and no doubt fun that will be, as are many toys. But virtual reality will not be real reality; and the food of the spirit and soul will not be found in such things. It is not a case then of doing away with one or the other but rather in attaining to all that exists in both. A computer is not spiritual food, but they are useful as a tool nevertheless. But the trees are real, the mountains are real, the stars are real; and there exists much spiritual food in these things. We simply have to learn how to let them work their magic on us. And that magic is unconditional of anything else other than the love of being there and using the sum of the divine order itself—they shout it... they ARE it in action. I was actually with a person once, and who knew nothing of these things, when they happened to be doing some trivial chore like cleaning their shoes, when suddenly they had a minor mystic experience. The person did not know what it was, or why or how, and they put no name to it. It lasted only for about two or three seconds. They were suddenly washed, overcome, by a happiness that defied words or reason, or that they had ever known before... and the person was gob-smacked and dumbfounded. It made them wonder and think! There was no doubt in their mind that they had known it and felt it—and that it was good. Our daily bread. I smiled, and said nothing.


And the slow unfolding of their own implicate order is active within them irrespective of a conscious quest to go in search of it. And mysticism is the path unfolding. During the course of an incarnate lifetime we each have our own spiritual agenda depending on where we are at and what we have to learn therein. The rational incarnate personality does not know this, yet from hindsight it is simple enough to observe an unfolding of key events in our life; indeed our own transcendent project for this lifetime as such. The terms ‘anomalous experience’ and ‘synchronicities’ are now coming into a wider use as experiences which are key events in a human life and which cannot be explained by the existing paradigm, yet self-evidently are a connected series of events which are leading us somewhere and hence have a purpose. Initially one may well call them incredible coincidences, but after so many of them over many years, one can detect both the path and the meaning, the connection and the effect.


The quest is alive and working even if one is unaware of it. The whole of creation is the outflow and ongoing process of a seed; the unfolding of an implicate order. Cognition is at the hub of that seed. Understanding is a faculty of cognition. Where does it come from, how does it work, why does it exist, where is it all going? I do not know the answer to any of these questions. But I know that the questions are well justified by direct demonstrable experience. And I also know that we cannot help but to ask those questions and seek, for ever if need be, the answers—for we are made of the stuff.


Mysticism is called mysticism because it is mysticism—it always has been, it is now, and it always will be. There are some things which we will never know; and that I know.



*    *    *

















(For Cassie from Dad)






Though times often come

when the heart does not glow;

so laden with worry

that no song will flow.

But just as the seasons

must pass in their turn

there comes a great mystery

which makes the heart burn

with a freshness of vigour

in passion so rare

in a pounding of love and beauty so fair.




What reason, they ask,

is such thing as it is?

For no reason, I say,

for that’s how it is!




And when all your burdens

and chores, like a chain,

shackle the spirit

in gloom’s dark domain

there comes, like a whisper,

a fragrance so fair

which lifts all such anchors

which shackled you there -










part two







- and raises the spirit

on wings like a Dove,

to once again dwell

in its domain of love.




What reason, they ask,

is such things as it is?

But no reason, I say,

is the best reason there is.




Search not for reasons

why things should be good,

but accept what they are,

for they are as they should.




Search why they are not so

in times that are less;

and strive that they must be,

with love and with zest.








*   *    *















A life with just the senses five

slumbers; for it’s half alive.

Like periscopes above the waves,

by themselves are living graves.

But deeper than the eye can go,

where nought but insight there can flow,

beyond the form the Essence hides;

unspoken words, like Virgin Brides.


Such pearls that do not rust in time;

like virtues that evoke a rhyme;

the melting pot of all that moves,

beyond the browns, the greys, the blues.

The linear line of visual sight

knows well the day; and of the night.

But inner flight can only know

how to make the daylight glow.


The terminus where centres meet;

where one must fly on wingéd feet,

where the deeper eye is born

which turns a morning into dawn.

Each child invents the world anew,

and thinks himself among the few;

wax like youthful Cocks-a-crow;

I know! Oh yes, I know, I know.


Oh my love, do not you see?

tis there for all; to use for free.

And what is yours is none the less;

tis equal... to the very best!

Tis irrespective of our thought,

for beyond time that mould was wrought.

We did not choose to walk this road;

the labour.... is a Cosmic load!





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